


The Bed

by needleyecandy



Series: Silly September [5]
Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, IKEA, M/M, OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4797137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Thor is an office drudge who is about to give up all hope of anything better in his life, and Loki is the manic pixie dream boy whose quirkiness and bubbliness teaches him to embrace all the wonder and beauty and amazingness of the world and existence and gosh just everything really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bed

**Author's Note:**

> From [a tumblr prompt.](http://stardust-sketcher.tumblr.com/post/118754184506/otp-au-ideas)
> 
> I have a super-early train today and no time for a last proofread, apologies for typos!
> 
> Enjoy!

Thor couldn't remember when he'd been tireder. It was July first, the day the books opened on the new fiscal year, and he had been at work for fourteen hours straight. As far as he knew, the accountants were still there. One of the few benefits of being a middle manager. He left his clothes strewn behind him as he headed for the bathroom. No matter how tired he was, he never seemed to sleep well after a day of paper-pushing if he didn't shower. 

He could hear noises through the bathroom's paper-thin walls. His new neighbor must have moved in right away. He had been hoping that their previous lease wouldn't end until the fifteenth, giving him two weeks of blissful quietness. One shitty little break in his shitty little life. That was obviously too much to hope for. 

As the hot water streamed down his body, he found himself thinking for the thousandth time how he had wound up here, in this building, in this job, in this life. He'd chosen his field as a way to make a real difference, and at first, it seemed like he really was. But then responsibilities were slowly changed and meetings were slowly added until his schedule had become identical to basically every corporate drudge the world over. He used to wonder how it had happened; now it bore the weight of inevitability. 

A peanut butter sandwich and half a can of sweet corn sufficed for dinner, and he went to bed not caring that his wet hair was leaving his pillow damp and lumpy. It felt too good to be falling asleep. He thought of the Simpsons. "That's where I'm a Viking," he mumbled to himself. 

Thor had not been dreaming of Vikings - had not been dreaming of anything, had simply been wrapped in peaceful oblivion - when he was woken by the sound of a hammer. It was not right next to his head, but in his sleep-addled state, he had thought for a moment it was. He sat up to look at the clock. Three. Three ante-fucking-meridian and his new neighbor had started up a building project. 

He tried putting a pillow over his head. He tried turning on the tv (that helped him sleep, sometimes, when he needed a distraction from the incessant thoughts that tumbled in his mind). Nothing helped. When it was still going at four, he dragged himself out of bed. He was just awake enough to remember to put his keys in the pocket of his robe - the doors here locked automatically - before he went next door to bang unceremoniously on the heavy wood. 

It took a while before the hammering stopped and a few seconds more the eyehole darkened. Then the door swung open to reveal the most stunning creature Thor had ever seen. He didn't look human, even - a fairy, or an elf, or something else out of myths - tall and slender, finely toned muscles on the bare arms and a mess of black curls and the most enchanting eyes Thor had ever seen. 

"Hi!" Thor's neighbor said. "Sorry, were you knocking long? I thought the spirits had learned Morse Code." 

"The whats?" Thor asked. 

"The spirits. I never believed in them before, but I was hammering in Morse to keep myself entertained, and then when you started knocking I thought someone was talking back." 

"No, I was just knocking," Thor said, staring at his hand. 

"That explains it. Between you and me, they weren't really making any sense. Complete gibberish," the man said. He stuck out his hand. "I'm Loki. Are you my neighbor?" 

"I'm Thor," Thor said, shaking his hand. "Look, um... do you need to be hammering right now? It's the middle of the night, and I had a long day yesterday, and another long day tomorrow-" 

Loki blinked. "Is it nighttime already? I'm sorry, I hadn't realized." 

"Yes... it's dark out..." 

"I had no idea. The first thing I did when I moved in was to put up blackout curtains everywhere. I wanted to replicate those experiments where they put people in a cave to measure their internal clocks. I guess it really works! Have you ever read about those studies? They're fascinating. I read one where the guy's clock went off by something like two hours for every single day that passed-" 

"That's great, really it is," Thor interrupted, "but it's four am, and I really need to get some more rest." 

"Oh, gosh!" Loki's eyes flared wide and his eyebrows rose high and his lips made the most perfect little O. "Of course you do! I'm just trying to put together this new bed I got, and the directions are all in cartoons, and I'm not a very good mimic." 

Thor grimaced. "IKEA? I've been there, that's what mine is too." 

"Malm?" Loki said hopefully. He was really pretty with that look on his face. 

"Yes," Thor lied. "I have a Malm." 

"Do you think that maybe, you could...?" Loki asked. 

"Sure," Thor said. _It's the fastest way to get the noise over with, so I can sleep,_ he told himself, and that was an even bigger lie than the kind of bed he had. 

Loki's face lit up and he grabbed Thor's hand and pulled him into the apartment. The door swung shut behind them and Loki skipped down his hallway, tugging Thor behind him. 

The bedroom was strewn with parts in no perceivable order. The hammer laid in the middle of the floor where Loki had dropped it when he'd gone to answer the door. The directions and the Allen wrench that were IKEA inevitables were nowhere to be seen. He asked for them. 

"That little metal thing? It's so tiny, there's no way it can be useful. That's why I have the hammer." 

At Thor's insistence, Loki dug them out of a pile of cardboard box scraps. Thor had Loki sort the parts into like groups as he skimmed over the directions. "Okay," he said when he was done reading. "I see what we do." 

With two of them, and one with some clue as to what was going on, the bed was together in fifteen minutes. 

"Thanks, Thor! You're the best," Loki said. 

"I'm glad I could help," Thor said. "I really better go to bed now." 

"Oh yes, of course. I can't thank you enough, I'd have been hammering on that for a week straight!" Loki said. 

Thor tried to look polite as he smiled. 

***** 

It was nearly a week before Thor saw Loki again. Not that he was watching, he tried to convince himself. And as luck would have it, it was on a morning when he was running late for work. Loki nearly crashed into him as he left his apartment. 

"Thor! Hi!" Loki said. "Whatcha doing?" 

"I'm going to work." 

"Oh. I thought maybe you were getting groceries. I was going to ask for a ride." 

"I work a block from Safeway, if you want a ride there. The 89 bus doesn't go too far out of the way to come home," Thor offered. 

"Thanks, Thor! You really are the best." Loki kissed his cheek. 

"Um, thanks," Thor said. Loki's lips felt just perfect and Thor couldn't deny anymore that the man was waking something in him that he had begun to think was dead. "So you've cycled back around to daylight hours, huh?" 

Loki blinked in confusion. His lashes were long and black and their thickness made the color of his eyes just glow. "Oh, that! I'm over that. I thought, what's the point? I've gotten very into living in the _now._ " 

"Oh, okay," Thor said, trying to pretend he had some clue what the hell that meant. 

They got in the car. "What's in here?" Loki asked, popping open the glove compartment. "Ooo, condoms! I love those, can I have one?" 

"Sure," Thor said. He checked his mirrors far more than necessary for pulling out of his parking space. 

By the time they were in traffic, Loki had made a balloon squid. "Thanks for getting the minty kind. The ones that taste like latex are no fun to blow up." 

"Uh-huh," Thor said weakly. 

They passed the supermarket. "My building's just up here," Thor said. 

Loki gave a low whistle when they turned the corner and the dull gray façade came into view. "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'entrate," he said. 

"You speak Italian?" Thor asked. 

Loki shrugged. "Some. I used to work at EuroDante." 

"EuroDante?" 

"Mmm. It's like EuroDisney, but Dante themed." 

"I had no idea that existed. What did you do?" 

"I was one of the Beatrices." 

"You were Beatrice," Thor said flatly, his gaze raking down Loki's very flat front. 

"I was the night Beatrice. It wasn't a very well lit park." 

"I see," Thor said, though he very much did not. 

"Hey! I have an idea way better than going to your boring old job. You should play hooky and we'll go blow bubbles by the river." 

"Loki, I can't just-" Thor broke off when he turned to face Loki and found his face lit up with excitement, green eyes simply glowing with eagerness. It was suddenly impossible to say no. He parked on the street and pulled out his phone. "All right. Let me call in sick." 

Loki actually sat quietly while Thor made his call, trying to sound stuffed and scratchy as he told Nina that he wouldn't be in that day. After that he pointed the way to his current favorite toy store, the one he said had the best variety of bubbles. The woman at the counter greeted him by name. The park was near enough to the store that they left the car and walked there with their bottles of bubble mix. 

"So, Loki, what do you do?" Thor asked. Loki's hours were so inconsistent and apparently self-determined, and his outfit waas definitely not work-suitable. The koala bear hat, in particular, didn't strike Thor as office-, retail-, or, probably, even drug-runner appropriate. 

"Right now I have a couple hotlines. I'm very into positivity," Loki said. 

"Hotlines? What kind?" 

"Phone sex and phone psychic. Positive ones," Loki answered matter-of-factly. 

"Oh... " Thor wasn't sure what to say. "I didn't know you were a psychic," he said. 

"I'm not. That's what makes me so good at my job," Loki told him. 

"You're good at being a phone psychic by not being a psychic?" 

"Exactly," Loki said, nodding. "Since I'm not distracted by the future of the current real, I'm free to picture the true real, and tell that to them. Then since they know it's going to happen - because I told them that it would - they don't give up until they've reached it." 

"Uh-huh. Have you ever tested that theory?" Thor asked. 

Loki looked at him reproachfully. "Of course not. If I don't have faith, how can I expect them to?" 

***** 

Thor did have to admit that standing on the bridge over the stream, blowing bubbles and bathing in sunshine, was much better than going to work. Maybe Loki had the right idea, being self-employed and setting his own schedule. The breeze turned suddenly and Loki's string of bubbles turned in mid-blow to burst all over his face. 

"You didn't get any, poor thing," Loki said, and booped Thor on the nose. "Consolation," he explained. 

They used up both bottles. Thor had never done that before, not even as a kid. He realized suddenly that the sun was high in the sky and his stomach was rumbling. They got hot dogs and ice cream from a guy with a cart, and sat in a shady patch of grass to eat. Loki insisted on naming all the ducks before they left. Most of the ducks swam randomly about their pond, but two of them stayed close together. Loki cast Thor a shy smile - Thor hadn't thought he'd ever look shy - and named them Thor and Loki. 

"Would you like to come over for dinner? I never thanked you properly for helping with my bed," Loki said as they got in the car to head home. 

Thor looked over at him. His eyes were bright from the fresh air, and the hair that wasn't held firmly in place by his hat was a mess. Free, like Loki. _Thor_ liked Loki. "Yes, I would," he said. 

Loki chattered happily as they drove back, talking about everything that caught his interest - an extra-purple pigeon on the powerline, Chinese terracotta soldiers, string theory - all the way back home. 

"Come over in half an hour, I want to make something nice," Loki told him as they reached their floor. 

Thor was there in half an hour on the dot. Loki had changed into a cozy sweater (their building did tend towards the cold) and as Thor walked in he saw that the lights were low, and the table was set with a winnie-the-pooh tablecloth and tall, elegant candle tapers and sparkling crystal glasses. "Red wine okay?" Loki asked as Thor sat down. The candlelight made Loki's fair skin seemed to glow from within and Thor suddenly, desperately, wanted to kiss him. "Red's great," he said. 

"Can you do the honors while I get our food?" Loki asked, pulling a bottle out of a cupboard and giving it to Thor. 

"Sure." 

Loki disappeared into the kitchen and Thor could hear the fridge door opening and closing. Loki reappeared just as Thor was pouring the second glass, two bowls in his hands. He set them on the table and took his seat across from Thor. 

"I haven't had Froot Loops in years," Thor admitted. 

"I eat them every day. You should too. They make people happy." 

Thor's mind went briefly to _health effects of added sugars_ and _dental damage_ and but then he took a bite and it was sweet and crunchy and when he looked up Loki was smiling in anticipation. "You're right. They do make people happy," he said. 

Loki talked with his mouth full. It was a habit Thor had always hated. He didn't hate it when Loki did it. It was just a part of Loki being too excited about everything to restrain his natural exuberance. 

Thor was trying to decide whether he wanted to kiss Loki tonight, or to wait and take some more time enjoying the anticipation, when Loki looked up from his empty bowl. "Want to play Lite-Brite?" he asked. "I just got it." 

Thor had forgotten those even _existed_. How many of the good things in life had he forgotten, he wondered. But now Loki was here, and helping him remember. 

"That sounds like fun," Thor said. 

Loki cleared one end of the table and got the box set up. They took turns putting in their bulbs until the picture was half done, and Thor turned to Loki. "You know what would make this even more fun?" 

"What?" 

"A hammer," he grinned. 

Loki leaned over. Kissing tonight was the right decision. 


End file.
